What Should I Say?
Growing up, I remember shopping with my parents. We would go into the store, shop, pay for our items, and go home. Today, a new layer has been added to the experience. When we walk into businesses, schools, doctors' offices, or care facilities, there is nearly always someone there to greet us. In fact, I'm usually greeted several times while I'm there. The friendliness and smiles add value to the experience and make me feel better about a return visit. We see modern public spaces benefiting from an ancient cultural and biblical practice: a courteous greeting.
Most of the epistles in the New Testament close with greetings from the author. In fact, the Apostle Paul devotes most of Romans 16 to greeting and recognizing members of the church. However, sometimes we hear friends say something like, "We visited a church, but not a single person spoke to us." Our hearts sink when we hear this. How is it possible that Home Depot outperforms churches in something so basic yet so important? It's unlikely church members are being deliberately rude. It's more likely they are busy in the Sunday morning routine. When we're busy, it's possible to forget the importance of expressing Christian love in the form of common courtesy. And yet, a warm greeting is often the first step to sharing the gospel.
A common question about how to connect with others at church is, "When I meet someone new, what should I say?" For many of us, this isn't a problem. We're comfortable approaching others and enjoy meeting new people. However, not everyone feels the same way. Perhaps you've thought: "I think that couple is new. But what if they've been here for years and attend a different service? I don't want to say the wrong thing, so I'll just be quiet."
If you have had these thoughts, please don't feel guilty: your heart is in the right place! You want to reach out, but you don't want to offend or make a mistake. Below are some "go-to" introductions to help us with greeting others, whether they've been at SLCC for a while or happen to be new guests. Here are a few suggestions on how to engage a new friend at church:
"Hi, my name is __. How long have you been coming to SLCC?"
This greeting keeps us in a "safe assumption zone" and is likely to help you learn a name. If the person you greet is new, you can help them find the welcome center. From there, our volunteers will give them a connect card, a welcome gift, and answer questions. If they have been attending for a while, you can follow up by sharing something about yourself, like how long you’ve been at SLCC or why you love the church.
"Hi, my name is __. Are you from nearby?"
Most people are comfortable sharing what part of town they live in. This also opens the door to discovering mutual acquaintances or other things in common.
Of course, you may already have an introduction that works and breaks the ice. If so, keep using it! Either way, take the initiative to start the conversation. Most people value being heard and are eager to share about themselves. I try to remember that starting a conversation with new friends at church may be the first step in a new relationship with Jesus.
— Pastor Bill